23 Comic Things German Shepherds Would State If They Could


Hey there! I’m a German Shepherd, the furocious and furtastic breed you all know and love! 

If I could speak, I’d tell you all about the crazy life of being a GSD. From begging for food, which it seems that I always have to do, to my epic playtime battles with my lovely hooman, car rides that sometimes make me feel like I’m on a roller coaster, and oh, the mysteries of those curious felines that I’m not quite sure what to make of!

I’ll let you in on some of my deepest thoughts, but shhh, let’s keep it between us, alright? I wouldn’t want the felines to know all of my secrets! 

Now, grab some treats, and give me some while you’re at it, and let’s dive into the world of things German Shepherds would say if they could!

Things Your GSD Would Say During Meal Time

German shepherd catches food on brown studio background

1. “I’ve been practicing my puppy dog eyes. Can you see them? Can you? Maybe it’ll earn me an extra treat or two?”

2.  “I don’t always want food…Oh, wait, yes I do.”

3. “I’m not picky, but I do prefer chicken over kibble. Just sayin’.”

4. “Why does the cat get tuna while I’m stuck with dry dog food? Life’s just not fair!”

Things Your GSD Would Say During Bath Time

A nice German shepherd dog takes a bath with soap

1. “Bath time? Can’t we skip that part and just go straight to treats?”

2. “I’m just going to roll in the dirt straight after my bath. It’s a GSD tradition, you know?”

3. “Maybe if I freeze in place, you’ll forget that I need a bath.”

4. “Is this a punishment for digging in the mud? I thought that was just an adventure! Can’t a dog have some fun around here?”

Things Your GSD Would Say During Playtime

German shepherd dog catches a Frisbee in the autumn in the field

1. “I can catch that frisbee with my eyes closed! Watch me!”

2. “When I bring the toy back, it’s not just about handing it over, it’s about you having to fight for it!”

3. “Why are you running like that? Do you need help with your form?”

4. “I know you’re just pretending to throw it, hooman.”

Things Your GSD Would Say During Hiking

german shepherd making a funny face while hiking

1. “You call this a hike? I call it a leisurely stroll.”

2. “Who needs a GPS when you’ve got a GSD nose? I’ll make sure we never get lost!”

3. “Hiking is great, but have you ever tried rolling in mud?”

4. “I may be tired, thirsty, and panting like crazy, but I’m not giving up. Let’s go!”

Things Your GSD Would Say During Car Rides

German shepherd in big car

1. “Can we stop by the drive-thru? I heard they have treats for dogs there.”

2. “Uhm, where are you taking me, hooman? Are we going to the vet’s? Oh no!”

3. “I’ll just sit here and drool until we arrive at our destination.”

Things Your GSD Would Say When Out For A Walk

funny photo of german shepherd on a walk
Source: Pinterest

1. “Hold up! Let me get that stick. That stick is so beautiful, oh my dog! You never know when you’ll need a good stick, right?”

2. “Why walk in a straight line when you can zigzag, sniff every bush, chase squirrels, and explore the whole neighborhood?”

3. “I have a love-hate relationship with my feline neighbors. I’ll walk by their houses with my tail held high, but secretly, I’m terrified of them! Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

4. “Hey hooman, can you hold on for a second? I got some serious business with that fire hydrant.”

Final Thoughts

I hope you hoomans had a blast peeking into the mighty mind of a German Shepherd! 

Remember, keep those treats coming and keep the belly rubs coming too! That’s the most important thing every GSD would say if he could, trust me! 

Actually, it’s the second most important thing because the first one is “I love you!”

As a loyal and loving doggo, I promise to keep you entertained with my endless energy, boundless curiosity, and unconditional love.

So, stay tuned for more doggy insights and tail-wagging tales, because there’s always more to say if I could speak!