Oh, come on! I bet you’re doing them, too!
I mean, is it so wrong to celebrate your dog’s birthday or… or… talk to your dog when you have a problem?
It’s not weird, I promise! People need to open their mind and accept the behavior of a crazy dog parent.
Because crazy cat ladies are so overrated!
1. We Use A Special Voice
Activate baby voice.
Of course, this command turns on only when we’re home alone with them. As a proud dog owner, I can admit I use my baby voice with my dog more than I use my normal voice.
It’s how I show that I love every bit of my dog: from his toe beans to the top of his fluffy tail.
2. We Give Our Dogs Tons Of Nicknames
I honestly can’t remember the last time I called my dog by his real name. It must have been at the vet’s during his last checkup.
Dog owners are weird like that. We don’t use names… we prefer nicknames. The crazier, the better! So what if Mr. Snuggles is nowhere near my dog’s real name, Milo? You should hear my other ideas like Poo Pooch, Stinky Bug, Cuddle Toes…
3. We Call Ourselves Mommies And Daddies
I’m a proud dog parent. I know lots of others who call themselves mom or dad. Our dogs will furever be our babies no matter how big they get.
At the moment, my dog is my entire family. But, even when I decide to start one with a significant other and have kids, Milo will still be my baby boy… my firstborn.
I don’t care about the side eyes and the nasty comments about how stoopid we sound.
4. We Order Food For Our Dogs, Too
Well, technically, I don’t order food… I order drinks and snacks for my dog… A puppuccino after a shopping spree or some fruits from Starbucks when we’re on the go doing our chores.
Yes, I know some dog pawrents like to order fries or burgers for their dogs, but that’s not a healthy practice. I know they love their dogs to pieces, but giving them Reeses pieces won’t help at all.
5. We Talk To Our Dogs
I mean real, long conversations. Sometimes, I feel like Milo really listens to me and tries to talk back to me.
Every dog owner is absolutely certain that his dog is trying to talk by using his eyes, body language, and simply standing there and staring at his face.
So, if you ever see me in the market talking to my dog about which cereal I should get, please don’t interrupt our convo.
6. We Blame It On Our Dogs As An Excuse
If any of my friends are reading this, I apologize in advance. I have used my dog as an excuse on a number of occasions for different reasons.
Sometimes, I didn’t like the place my friends invited me to, sometimes I didn’t like the people who were there, and sometimes I just didn’t feel like it.
I’m pawsitive other dog owners have done this same thing. One small, white lie won’t do harm, right? And, to be honest, my dog did turn out to be sick once when I lied that I had to stay home and watch him.
7. We Prefer Sleeping With Them
Could this be the reason why I’m still single?
Oh, well… I chose this life. Frankly, my dog is the best bed warmer in the world. We don’t spoon, but he’s always lying next to me, resting his head on my legs or on my tummy.
He doesn’t snore or kick me in his sleep. He’s the pawfect sleeping pawtner and the biggest reason why I got a super-size king bed.
8. We Take Photos Of Our Dogs (All The Time)
My photo gallery is full of my dog’s photos. I’ve used most of my cloud storing pictures of Milo snoozing and playing in the sand, and videos of him howling and talking to me.
I bet I don’t have a single selfie in there! In fact, my social media is all about my dog, too!
It’s not that I don’t like taking pictures of myself. I do, but I prefer to have Milo in the frame with me.
9. We Celebrate Doggy Birthdays
Well, obviously! Don’t tell me you don’t celebrate your pets’ b-days?
I’d rather skip my own birthday than to ignore my dog’s. As a matter of fact, we have two small birthday parties for Milo: we celebrate the day he was born and the day he was adopted, which is five months later.
Is it weird that I buy my dog presents, wrap them, and even sing a birthday song? Do I need help?
10. …And Bake Special Doggy Treats
Okay, I’ve stolen recipes from some blogs, so I know I’m not the only one who makes doggy treats and birthday cakes for dogs.
Cooking and baking relaxes me, and if I have to do it for my dog – even better!
Our birthday cakes are epic, and we even share them with our neighborhood friends! Needless to say other dog owners were beyond impressed with what I came up with.
11. We Play Dead Just To See Their Reactions
I used to do this all the time! It was super funny to see my dog’s reaction to me passing out or acting dead.
But, although they’re emphatic, German Shepherds are quite intelligent, and my Milo saw right through me.
He doesn’t believe me when I do it anymore. Let’s just hope I don’t end up like the boy crying wolf.
12. We Secretly Hate People Our Dogs Don’t Like
I have a friend of a friend whom I don’t see that often. But, she somehow always annoys me. You know, she has one of those faces you wish you could just… ugh!
Well, the first time my dog saw her, he growled when she tried to pet him. Milo does not like her, and I’ve begun to dislike her, too.
As any dog owner, I strongly believe in my dog’s judgment. They know how to sense bad people better than we do.
13. We Prefer Spending Saturday Nights At Home With Them
Give me chips, a movie, a blanket, and my dog right next to me! That’s my ideal Saturday night.
I’m so over clubs and parties. The best way to spend a weekend and recharge batteries for the next week is by cuddling with your four-legged buddy!
So, if you invite a dog owner out on a Saturday night, chances are you will be rejected and served some kind of excuse.
To Conclude
This doesn’t make us bad people, right? I know we dog owners are sometimes a bit too goofy with our baby talk, hilarious nicknames, and Saturday night routines. But, we mean no harm. We just want to be left alone with our dogs!
Once you get a furry buddy of your own, you’ll understand us. We’ll be there, welcoming you to the club of crazy dog lovers!
