13 Reasons Why Golden Retrievers Are The Worst

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So, you’re wondering why Golden Retrievers are the worst.

Welcome to the club because I was wondering the same thing. We always hear about how sweet and kind Golden Retrievers are. But, is there a downside… maybe something that would put Goldens on the naughty list?

Believe it or not, Golden Retrievers have their flaws. They’re not ideal dogs, like many of their canine buddies. However, what’s a downside for someone might not be for you.

That’s why we’ll take a look and figure out the most common downsides, and 13 reasons why Golden Retrievers are the worst.

The truth might surprise you…

1. They Are Not Good For People With Allergies

woman sneezing due to an allergy

Golden Retrievers make one of the best pets for families, but they come with one huge downside. Golden Retrievers shed. These aren’t hypoallergenic dogs fit for people prone to dog-related allergies. Unfortunately, you will have allergic reactions around these dogs, and quite severe ones, I might add.

Golden Retrievers tend to shed a lot during spring and autumn season. However, they shed in the winter and summer, too. SImply put… if you want a Golden Retriever, be prepared to vacuum all the time and brush your dog on a daily basis. There will be dead hair flying around all the time, and that’s the cost of owning a Golden.

Even if you’re not allergic to dog hair, it may still bother you. They say German Shepherds are notorious shedders, but I’d add Golden Retrievers to the list, too!

2. Their Grooming Will Cost You An Arm And A Leg

Young woman cutting dog nail with specialty tool on white background

Speaking of shedding and grooming…

If you plan to own a dog like a Golden Retriever, you will need to be prepared to groom it all the time. Okay, either you or the professional groomer will have to do the job. But, don’t even think of getting your Golden shaved!

Learning how to groom a dog with a double coat is not that difficult. There are lots of useful tricks on YouTube that can save you money because professional groomers cost a lot. If you plan to take your dog to weekly grooming sessions, you’ll need a special budget for it.

Trust me… a simple pin brush, along with a slicker, will do the trick and save you a ton of money.

The bottom line is grooming your Golden will take a huge chunk of your time, and possibly money. Is that the risk you’re willing to take?

3. They Are Just Too Playful

owner playing with golden retriever

Golden Retrievers are known for being extra friendly and extra playful. These dogs love to bounce around and make you laugh.

While Frenchies are clowns that belong to the small-breed group, Goldens are big boys and big clowns. Yes, they will bend over backwards to see you laugh. Also, they will try to find a way for you both to enjoy the playtime.

However, playing all the time and being so bouncy and perky isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Such dogs tend to be a bit… tiring. It’s really not okay to be happy all the time. Sometimes, we have to take it down a notch and play it cool.

Seriously, Goldens… do you really think we’re in the mood to play all the time? What about some cuddling on the sofa? There’s so much more to spending time together than playing frisbee or ball!

4. They Are Extremely Stubborn Dogs

golden retriever lying on floor

Believe it or not, Golden Retrievers are super stubborn dogs.

While many family-friendly dog breeds are a delight to housebreak and train, Goldens actually aren’t. These dogs like to have it their own way, and they will not bend that easily. This means if you want to teach your Golden not to bark at night or to have him go potty outside, you’ll lose all your nerves.

Golden Retrievers don’t like to listen to their owner a lot, but they will obey if they notice you have a treat. Thanks to lots of positive reinforcement stimulated with treatos, your Golden might start to behave like a good boy or girl.

I recommend you don’t skip training lessons, no matter how difficult they are. Golden Retrievers will behave like lunatics and roam around the house if they’re not at least a bit trained. We’re not looking for perfection… just a normal dose of training and proper behavior.

5. They Don’t Make Good Guard Dogs

golden retriever on a chair

Do you know what a Golden Retriever does when a burglar breaks in? He greets the intruder with a warm welcome.

Golden Retrievers make terrible watchdogs, as well as guard dogs. You can blame this on their super friendly attitude. While it’s great to have a dog that’s super friendly towards everyone, it’s not okay to have them cuddle with thieves.

Golden Retrievers should take things a bit seriously, and start behaving like protectors of their family. Sure, we’re not asking them to serve and protect like German Shepherds, but a loud woof here and there when they sense something’s wrong would be okay.

Now, I know that getting a guardian isn’t the right thing to ask from a dog, but still… If a dog can signal to the family that something’s wrong (other than behaving normally while the house is being robbed), that would be nice, wouldn’t it?

6. They’re Big Chewers

Golden retriever tore the furniture of the house

All puppies chew on things. But, they should overcome that phase rather quickly, and puppies should become easier to handle.

The problem with Golden Retrievers is that they remain puppies even as grown-ups. They’re cheerful, sometimes silly, and quite mischievous.

Some dogs are barkers, some are chewers, and some are both. Golden Retrievers are chewers, and you’ll notice that the moment you bring one to your home.

From destroyed slippers to chewed pillows and teeth marks on your dining chairs… Oh, the things a Golden would chew on!

I had a Golden hole while growing up, and he was the best boy ever. But, he had one huge flaw: he used to chew on my mom’ decorations. We almost had no Christmas tree one year because he was so fixed on chewing the branches and knocking down the ornaments.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

7. …And They Like To Eat, Too!

Golden retriever eating from his bowl.

Obesity is one of the biggest issues for Golden Retrievers. These dogs like to eat. They enjoy food in any form: kibble, wet, or even raw. The most important thing for these dogs is to have their belly filled up.

Unfortunately, eating so much is not good for your Golden boy or girl. Sooner or later, your dog will become obese, and that could lead to numerous problems with his mobility, and cause fragile joints and bones.

If your Golden is such a huge fan of snacking, maybe you should consider switching store-bought snacks for healthy options. Instead of kibble, offer your Fido a piece of apple or broccoli.

I mentioned earlier that these dogs thrive with positive reinforcement. Don’t hand out too many treats while training. Perhaps a tummy rub or an ear scratch would be great.

8. They’re Not Good For Families With Kids

Friendly relationship between child and dog

I’m not joking. Golden Retrievers are not a good fit for families with small kids.

Remind yourself how big Goldens get. They’re large dogs that will weigh around 70 pounds, more or less. That’s a lot when you compare them to a toddler.

Now, imagine them running around the house and knocking over your little baby. Even bigger kids are not safe around Goldens when they have zoomies.

I would recommend you get a Golden Retriever only when your kids are more stable on their feet. Wait a couple of years, maybe until the kids are off to school.

That would be the ideal time for many reasons: a) your kids would be safe around your Golden and they can play together, and b) your kids would know how to appreciate living with a Golden.

9. They Are Prone To Separation Anxiety

golden retriever puppy

These big boys and girls can be really sensitive.

Separation anxiety is something that strikes lots of dog breeds, and Goldens are among them. Unfortunately, this condition may occur even if your Golden is perfectly socialized.

The thing with separation anxiety is this is what happens when a dog is left alone for too long. Dogs like Goldens are social creatures. They enjoy spending every second with their owner. But, once the owner has to go out and do something, i.e., go to work, they become desperate.

Either bring your Golden along or find him an occupation or company while you’re not there. Perhaps another Golden Retriever would solve the problem.

10. They Are Mischievous

An overhead shot of a golden retriever holding a boot in its mouth

Oh, these little rascals!

I’ve already talked about how mischevious Golden Retrievers are. But, did you know that these pups can steal things, too?

Yup, being clownish is something Goldens enjoy, and apparently, they enjoy stealing things, too.

Back to my childhood Golden…

I used to lose socks like crazy. My mom literally thought our washing machine needed to be replaced until one day, my dad moved the huge family room sofa and found a bunch of my socks hiding under it. Guess who the culprit was!

My Golden standing in the doorway, holding another pair of socks, and looking all busted.

11. They Are Not The Healthiest Breed

Male Veterinary Surgeon Examining Golden Retriever

Sadly, this is right. Golden Retrievers are not the healthiest breed. In fact, they’re prone to many health problems.

Most Goldens suffer from mobility issues like hip dysplasia or elbow dysplasia. However, being a large dog means a Golden will be prone to another serious condition called bloat.

When a dog drinks too much water, and eats a lot before or after working out, he could swallow lots of air and have his stomach twisted.

I can’t tell you how many Goldens with bloat I’ve seen so far.

And, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Living with a Golden means you will be a regular at the vet’s office. Well, at least you could ask for a discount, right?

12. They Have A Short Lifespan

sick golden retriever

Unfortunately, Golden Retrievers don’t have a long lifespan. Even with proper care and nutrition, a Golden can live only up to 10 to 12 years. And, that’s really their maximum.

Larger dogs usually live a shorter lifespan. Take Shih Tzus, for example. Those small creatures live up to 15 years, and I know pups that have lived even longer.

Golden Retrievers belong to the group of dogs that only live for a decade or so. That’s not nearly enough time a Golden lover would like to spend with his good boy or girl.

13. They Are Not The Cleanest Dogs

golden retriever lying at the beach

Dogs can be quite messy, and I’m not talking about dead hair flying all over the place.

Golden Retrievers enjoy eating a lot. They’re gluttonous, and will munch on food the moment it’s put into their bowl. And, those meal times can get pretty messy.

Thanks to the long hair around their face, the food tends to catch onto it and make a Golden look very messy.

Also, when you’re walking in the rain, and your Golden sees a mud puddle, be sure he will jump right into it. Goldens enjoy getting their wonderful golden coat dirty. There goes their wonderful spectrum of Golden coat colors. They love digging up flower beds and rolling in roadkill. Basically, they love being stinky and messy.

To Sum Up…

I know you came here looking for reasons why Golden Retrievers are the worst dogs. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but these reasons aren’t good enough for you to skip on this wonderful dog breed.

Golden Retrievers are one of the most popular canine best friends. They’re friends in the true meaning of the word, and are always there for you. No wonder why many Goldens are serving as therapy or service dogs.

A Golden’s heart is truly made of gold. These are sweet animals, never problematic or annoying to the point that they will make you say: God, don’t you just hate Golden Retrievers!

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